I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
One time, the Queen of England decided to knight a loyal member of her country who happened to be Jewish.
This man knew that knights were supposed to say something in Latin as the Queen knighted them, but didn’t remember the line, so he quickly said “ma nishtana halaila hazeh micol haleilot”
This, of course, confused the Queen, who turned to her advisor and asked “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”
*carries a redshirt with me but doesn’t wear it* it’s a metaphor for dying on away missions but i don’t put it on because i don’t actually want to die on away missions
- the fault in our star trek
How to college:
- drink coffee